Last month a good friend of mine gave birth to a lovely little boy. I have a special relationship with the baby since I am the godmother. I wanted to do something special that would make a nice memory for the kid... So I spent about 15 hours embroidering a nice large new towel for him with his name and a symbolic plant. I asked her in advance what she wanted to be embroidered and what style/colors she liked. She had specific things in mind and while I didn't 100% follow her example it was very strongly inspired by it.
I was very proud of my gift, especially since in our family we all have such a towel. Now my friend let me know that she expected me to also buy one of the things she selected for her kid from her list. She did spend a long time selecting things for her kid and gave some hints in advance. But since she already bought those items, to me it felt like just handing money. So I gave her the towel and some other little things the day I visited them. She thanked me for the gift. But now a few weeks later she asked how I wanted to support them and stressed that being a godparent also is a financial investment.
She also said that she wants me to buy gifts that would be useful and that we would discuss. It is important for her to know what to expect and to have predictability and security. Especially since she was disappointed before in that regard. But she also said that she doesn't only expect gifts for birthdays, but also for Christmas and Easter.
It starts to look daunting for me, I feel I have little freedom in how I support the kid. I also feel like the financial part should not be the main focus of being a godparent... I told her I would be there as often as I could to babysit and make sure to go on day trips or longer trips with them/the kid in the future. This was what I loved most from my own godparent. Should I only buy gifts she approves of, or should I follow my own idea of what is good for the kid in this regard?
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