Sex Blankets Are Here To Save You From The Dreaded Post-Cum Clean Up

Throwing down between the sheets can be a messy business, especially if you’ve chosen to do the deed while on your period or if you’re someone who squirts. Squirting, gushing, female ejaculation, a sign of a damn good orgasm — however, you want to refer to it, usually means juicy soaked sheets and a whole lot of clean up post playtime. Unless, of course, you have a sex blanket.

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What is a sex blanket?

Designed to save your bed linen, towels, couch covers and mattresses, a sex or squirt blanket is a specially designed blanket that’s 100% waterproof and absorbs all kinds of liquids — think periods, squirting, lube etc.You simply lay it down before you have sex or masturbate, and you can orgasm without thinking about the post-cum cleanup. We’ve all slept in a wet patch before, and it ain’t it!

Sex Blankets Are Here To Save You From The Dreaded Post-Cum Clean Up

Where can you buy squirt blankets?

Good question! While you can buy some tarp-esque blankets from sex toy stores, we’d recommend this one from Yoni Pleasure Palace. The 100% waterproof squirt blankets come in three different sizes — small, medium and large — and come in an array of cute colours to suit your space. Unlike more traditional sex blankets, they’re soft to touch, with one side of the blanket being a super-soft fleece while the other is a smooth velvet. Must nicer than that must towel you’ve been whacking down.

While the lush velvet and fleece might sound a bit hot, given we’re easing out of the hotter months in Australia right now, founder of Yoni Please Palace Rosie Rees, recently told Refinery29 that we can expect to see a lighter, summer-appropriate version made from organic bamboo soon. Fuck yeah!

Yoni Pleasure Palace Squirt Blanket, $59.95

How do you take care of a sex blanket?

According to YPP, the best squirt blankets offer a fuss-free cleanup, hence why you can simply throw this one in your washing machine on a cold, delicate setting (sans fabric softener), and you’re off. Then it’s simply a case of pegging it out to air dry or chucking it in the drier for a low tumble dry. Bonus, not only do they last up to 100 washes, but they’re also stain-proof, so ‘ave at it.

What are the benefits of owning a sex blanket?

Well, aside from the fuss-free cleaning up if you’re someone who squirts or gushes during an orgasm, they’re also fabulous if you like to dabble in period sex without wanting to press up against a shower screen. (It’s all hot and sexy until someone gets water in their eyes or pressed up against a tap.) It’s also great for people who have bladder issues post-pregnancy and need that extra layer between them and the sheets.

The biggest benefit of all would have to be the fact that you can go to town on top of one of these blankets (period sex or not) without getting in your head about cleaning up afterwards. You can really let go and literally let the flood gates open without a care in the world.

Considering these bad bois will only set you back around $59.95, we wouldn’t mind forking out for a blanket or two. We dunno about you, but we’d much rather wash one sheet than a whole set of ’em. You can purchase your new sex blanket right here.

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